Weird

 I am at the same time: 


- COMPLETELY in love with the kids here, and COMPLETELY missing my family and my life in Brazil/USA. 
- COMPLETELY loving making new friends here, and COMPLETELY MISSING MY BRAZILIAN FRIENDS.
- COMPLETELY loving the food here, and COMPLETELY missing brazilian/american food. 
- COMPLETELY loving my job at some moments, not being able to stand it other moments. 
- COMPLETELY loving church in Spanish, and COMPLETELY holding back tears when thinking of a certain song in Portuguese. 


So, I feel weird. But it is a weird that I think is completely normal. If I wasn't getting into the rhythm of things here, then I would be worried. If I wasn't also sad sometimes missing everything, then I would also be worried. Therefore: I am in a state of weird normalcy (does that make sense?). 

  Five things to be thankful for about my life right now:

1. Feeling closer to God. I have NEVER been this dependent on Him. NEVER felt this much love for Him. NEVER felt the feeling of complete emptiness and been completely filled up by His love. This is the first time I have ever felt like I was being physically and spiritually HUGGED by Jesus. Sounds cheesy but.... its true. It is so wonderful!!!!

2. Skype and Magic Jack. ESPECIALLY my Magic Jack. The Magic Jack is a little flash drive that you plug into your computer on one end, and into a phone on the other end. You can call for free ANYWHERE in the States, as long as you have Internet on your computer and your computer is turned on. It is such a blessing to be able to pick up the phone and call my family at anytime. My roommate told me the other day that the director of AIM (Adventures in Missions - a mission program that lots of young people do before college, or even instead of college - my roommate went to Scotland when she was my age with AIM), on his first mission trip (so in the 1940's or 50's), he went to Africa. He was 18. It took EIGHT MONTHS for his family to receive the letters he sent and vice-versa. Can you imagine? It makes me sick to my stomach to think about that. The Magic Jack was what got me through the first couple of days here. 

3. My roommate. Cathy Jones is such an inspiration to me. She is a VERY good cook, a VERY good teacher and a VERY smart, strong woman. She moved to the Hacienda of Hope before the orphan girls had house-parents. So for a year, when she was a little older than I am right now, she lived in the house with the girls, fed them, bathed them, got them to school on time - she was literally their mom. I cannot even imagine doing that. The girls are so so so sweet, but it is very nice to have a door with a lock that separates Cathy and I from their craziness sometimes. It is nice to be able to come home and do my stuff and then go spend time with them (or the other way around). Therefore, Cathy is a VERY strong woman, and she helps me through lots of difficulties. Thank you Cathy!

4. Food. Food. Food. If you know me, you know that I cannot eat when I am nervous. When I am nervous, if I am even a little bit unsure about whether or not I will like the food that is in front of me, I cannot eat. THANKFULLY, that is not the case here. Even though I still am a little nervous about everything, I eat A LOT. The food is a perfect mixture of American and Brazilian - its Ecuadorian. And. It. Is. Awesome. Rice, meat, chicken, pasta, potatoes, soup, fruit, bread, yummy juice - and at the same time Peanut Butter, Trix cereal, Brazilian Moca Cereal, Oreos, Ritz crackers... I love it. And I eat a lot. 

5. THE. KIDS. My little (and big) babies. I know they are not mine, but I love them so much. I really, really want to adopt. Really bad. I can't even explain my happiness when I am walking up the dreadful hill, coming out of my Learning Center at recess, walking back to my apartment, and I see huge smiles on little faces or tiny hands reaching up to me or big bear hugs from the older kids. I can't even think about saying goodbye to them... can't even imagine how it will be in 4 months. 

 And, here is my video of week 2:

Thank you AGAIN for the comments on this blog and e-mails. LOVE THEM. Also, anytime you would like to talk to me, let me know via e-mail and I will send you my Magic Jack number. Love, Ans

P.S.- Sorry for looking weird in the first shot of the video. Sometimes I look weird. Therefore the title of my post.