WHAT? TWO MORE MONTHS?
Today is March 22nd. I leave Ecuador on May 22nd. So many mixed emotions. I will be happy to see my family, excited about college, excited about not having to teach anymore, happy to see my cute brothers and sisters, happy to be in Brazil, happy to see friends in Brazil, happy to just relax for two months.
At the same time.....
I will bawl. I will feel like a piece of my heart is being ripped out of me. How can I tell this? Because today I was looking at a picture of my baby (Anthony) smiling with Matias (my cute tough guy), Adan (my big boy) and Luis (the perfect big brother), and teared up because I just LOVE them. Because I woke up early after a sleepover with Cati (my BFF that likes to talk about boys with me) and Leonela (my quiet, beautiful, crazy one) and just about cried because I just LOVE them. It is a love I have never felt before, because it is not a love towards my family nor towards my friends. It is not a small love, it is not a meaningless love. It is one of the most powerful loves I have ever felt. It is a love towards my sweet boys and beautiful girls. It is a happy love, it is a silly love, it is a crying-on-shoulders love, it is a making silly faces love, it is a walking up the hill hand in hand everyday kind of love. It is a BIG love. It is an IMPORTANT love. And it is a love that has brought me closer to God than anything else in my entire life has. These kids have changed me in the past 3 months.
I cant wait for May 22nd to get here. But at the same time, I am dreading it. I have talked with Anthony several times about him coming back with me, and every time I wish it was something I could really do. Is just bring that boy back with me. I have had several dreams about adopting one of these kids. Because let me just tell you, EVERYTHING has been worth it. All of the days I have cried, missed my life in Brazil, missed my dad's hugs, missed my mom's cooking, missed playing with my brothers and sisters, missed grandparent's, aunts, uncles and cousins, gotten in trouble, felt useless, felt lonely or discouraged... It has ALL been worth it just to get to know these kids and be in their lives for a short period of time.
Please pray for me as I face the next two months, and thank you so much for your support and prayers during the past 3 months! Pray for me not to cry like a baby on May 22nd :)
Only 2 months left? As you stated, I am sure you have mixed feelings. BUT, my guess is that you will really want to get back to Brasil and see everybody and have a good time. Before you know it you will be headed to college. Another adventure. I am so proud of you and love you much. I know you will be leaving Ecuador a better place because you will be in their memories. Love You, Granddaddy
ReplyDeleteYou're more than half-way through! I know what you mean about mixed emotions, but I don't see what's wrong with crying like a baby. :) I think one of the best things about you is that eventhough you've known that this time in Ecuador is temporary, you have allowed these children to enter your heart. I know that they'll stay there long after you leave.
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